Thursday, May 20, 2010

beautiful things

it's amazing what a little bit of sacrifice can do for you. I am trying to adapt the attitude (or rather, God has adapted it for me) of taking the emphasis off of me. It's been there way too long, and I've swam in the pity and I've drenched myself in the pain and I've been saturated with the pride for a long long time. This season has been like a hot shower so far, letting everything melt away. I feel the Lord's strength rising up in me. It's very very slow...but at least it's there.

How amazing it is to know that God carries us through times of helplessness and confusion! I don't even know how to explain how I feel. I'm leaning more into worship and how to really *worship* and what it means to do so. What does it mean to have a life built on worship? How do I give back to God what is His? That's worship. He blesses us so that we may learn what is means to give, and to love. We always forget that sometimes. I can be so possessive of the dumbest stuff...and then only later do I realize what a silly fool I have been. I should be grateful for the opportunity to share and give away and to donate! Because really, none of this is mine anyways. And where will it get me? And why does it matter whether or not I possess it tomorrow? Sometimes I think I look at my life as a nice little set up playset that I need to keep nice and upstanding and clean. When I was little I spent hours and hours setting up and making barbie playsets or little kitchen playsets look perfect. By the time that was finished, it was time to put it my entire enjoyment existed in the maintenance and the look of the whole set up. Only now do I see that as kind of weird...

I want to learn to bask in the beauty of the spontaneity of God. My heart needs to learn to be in a state of readiness to be used for whatever, whenever. To me, that is what purpose means. Your purpose is to be ready. For don't always know...But if Christ is living IN you, than you have no need to fear. The Lord did not create us to have a heart fo fear. His love drives it out!

Jason Upton gets this Word in one of his songs, while he's worshipping... and he goes into this interlude that goes "don't mess up my hair don't mess up my hair..don't let me look like a mess before the people..." and it has CONVICTED me.

God is the one who makes the beauty come. God is the creator who is the master creative mind who DEFINES beauty.

God has led me to this new song. It's very heart twisting.

You make beautiful things.
You make beautiful things out of dust.
You make beautiful things.
You make beautiful things out of us.